Duck Duck Cougar?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
