Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
