did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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