and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
