you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
