She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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