After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
