Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just pee around me
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
