MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
