I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
