He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
