It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
