everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
