I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
