It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
