party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
