Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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