During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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