so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
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fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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