i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.