Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.