do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
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the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
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I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.