part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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