Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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