Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm jealous of your bromance
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
