I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
