i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
