This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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