so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
