Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
