Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
