her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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