Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
