Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
