You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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