have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
