we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
