worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
