it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
