pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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