This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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