i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
