why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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