this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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