you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
