i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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