oh god the rape fog is back!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
soo... how was my night?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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