Just fell off a train. Bad.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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