ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i came on her dog
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
