peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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