I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm drive I can fine osifer
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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