god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
