i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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