I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I cut my penus on the lid.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
