I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Your cock deserves a montage
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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