fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
