I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
