pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i love accidental penises.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
