I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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