i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
