Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm like, not good at living.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
