So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
