Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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