Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
