why didn't you poke me back
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
