You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
